Stop Saying 'Use Your Words'—Say This Instead

Why ‘Use Your Words’ Doesn’t Work

Toddlers are still developing their vocabulary, and when they’re upset or struggling to express themselves, saying “Use your words” may not give them the guidance they need. They might not know what words to use, and without a model, they’re left guessing.

Imagine being in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language fluently. If someone told you, “Just say the right words,” but didn’t tell you what to say, it wouldn’t help much, right? That’s how toddlers feel!

What to Say Instead

Give your toddler the words they need in the moment. Try these simple phrases:

• Instead of: “Use your words.”
  Say: “Do you want more?” (While holding up more of what they want)

• Instead of: “Use your words.”
  Say: “Are you feeling mad?” (While modeling a calm tone and facial expression)

• Instead of: “Use your words.”
  Say: “You can say ‘help’ if you need me.”

Get the Free Words That Work List

Not all words are equally helpful when teaching a toddler to talk. Colors, numbers, and shapes are great, but they won’t help your child ask for things, express needs, or interact meaningfully. Instead, focus on functional words—words that help them get what they need and communicate their feelings.

Want to know which words to focus on first? Click here and I’ll send you my Words That Work List for free! This list will give you the best words to start with so you can help your toddler talk more—without the frustration.

Your child wants to communicate. Let’s give them the tools to do it!